In two tents set up beside the truck, passersby were able to shred Mike Haggs’s mail or blank CDs that were labelled “ SHRED ME” and sounded, when being shredded, like popping popcorn. He shredded junk mail printed specially for the occasion by Staples: a fake-credit-card offer made out to a fake name, Mike Haggs. “Now, you’re sure you didn’t give the Ford Taurus to a neighbor as a gift?” Patricoff asked. A guy took the microphone and told a long, incoherent tale punctuated by the words “cops,” “house,” “my son,” “Penn Station,” and “got it back.” A man who wanted to shred said that his Social Security number was stolen so that someone could purchase a Ford Taurus in his name. 1, that’s right, buddy!” He solicited identity-theft stories. “You trust special people, that’s right! You trust yourself, yes. “Do you trust all your friends?” he asked. In the meantime, Patricoff revved up the crowd. **Recycle.” “Shredding is really addictive,” he added.“It’s a family company, and they’re like the Orange County Choppers of the shredding-truck industry,” he said, standing beneath a banner reading “Shred** He motioned toward a twenty-four-foot-long mobile shredding unit, an SF200, that he had driven from Spokane, Washington, where it was built, by a firm called Shredfast, Inc. “I’ll be driving the actual shredding truck,” Patricoff said. Patricoff, a thirty-year-old promotional-tour veteran from Dayton, Ohio, has been on the road for the past three and a half years, most recently as part of the Got Milk? Milk Mustache Tour. Staples had set up a stage in the park, on which the event’s host, Justin Patricoff, demonstrated the store’s shredders. People who had heard about what Staples, the tour’s sponsor, was calling “a mobile shredding event” brought over bags of old bills and checks and sensitive financial documents to be shredded. A lot of stuff was shredded when Shred Across America, a seventeen-city document-shredding tour, stopped in Union Square recently.
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